Direct Deposit or Check?

Posted by on Aug 1, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Direct Deposit or Check?

If given the freedom to choose how you want to pay your alimony each week or month, it’s important to understand your spending style and priorities. If you need the parameters of a fixed budget to stay fiscally responsible, then having the money deducted from your bank account or via probation is a sure way to establish a non-adjustable routine. Do the math. Deduct your alimony payment from your take home salary and figure out how much money you have to spend each month. Without less payment latitude available to you, the money you truly earn becomes less visible. The money you keep is...

Read More

Coping with Your Wit’s End

Posted by on Jul 23, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Coping with Your Wit’s End

It’s important to take care of yourself when you feel like overwhelm is winning the race. Divorce is already tough on its own. Add the extra burden of having to pay a more significant share of the financial piece because you’re the higher earner, and overwhelm is breathing down your neck. Ugh! The laws for equitable distribution change from state to state, so find out the guidelines of yours. Do your homework before you begin any negotiations so you know up front what the best and worst case scenarios could be. Being prepared not only enables you to plan for potential outcomes,...

Read More

How Will I Make Ends Meet?

Posted by on Jul 23, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

How Will I Make Ends Meet?

Once you compile all your lifestyle expenses on paper and then learn a swift calculation will determine your percentage of post-divorce responsibility, the sensation of fear (and fury) can be a doozy. I will never forget how I felt when I realized I’d be penalized for my diligence and success, and my ex would be rewarded for his penchant for leisure. While married, there was no way I could force my ex to work any harder than he was willing to work; yet being responsibly oriented, there was also no way I could let our financial bottom drop out. So, I worked hard. And at the end of the...

Read More

Fear: Part & Parcel of Divorce

Posted by on Jun 26, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Fear: Part & Parcel of Divorce

If you’re afraid of what life will be like once your divorce papers are signed, then you’re normal. The extra bonus of being the breadwinner as your divorce looms large is fear of how you will meet new financial demands. Unless you are exceptionally solvent, the addition of a second household and the expenses that come with it can be great burdens to bear. So how do you handle the fear? Well, I suggest, though cliche, one day at a time. It is smart to understand the laws of your state and to get a clear sense of what your settlement results could be, but it is not smart to become...

Read More

What Do I Do with This Anger?

Posted by on Jun 24, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

What Do I Do with This Anger?

When you believe the terms of your divorce are unfair, the anger at the injustice of it all can eat you alive. Even if it seems like a response you cannot suppress, you need to find a way. Otherwise, it will absorb focus you could otherwise direct toward more productive ends. Anger is toxic. When emotions are raw and anger is acute, it’s a tough to keep those feelings in check. Rage has muscles. I don’t think I’ve ever been more furious than when my divorce negotiations were active. I stewed. I obsessed. I cried. I couldn’t imagine not hating my ex. I suppose given my...

Read More

Women Pay Alimony, Too

Posted by on Jun 23, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Women Pay Alimony, Too

“An equal opportunity courtroom.” That’s what a lawyer told me when I was in the midst of my divorce. There is no gender bias when it comes to alimony and child support. The higher earner is the higher earner, whether husband or wife. So excellence in your career and the resulting income you shared through marriage could possibly earn you the added bonus of helping maintain your ex’s financial comfort even after divorce. It doesn’t matter if you also become the custodial parent. The math regarding income speaks loudly, and courts tend to listen. Ladies, you are...

Read More